World's stupidest ninja games
by Bri Nara
Summary: We make a few ninja do a few challenges, just for fun.
1. Super Scary Staring Contest

**Bri Nara Production**

_Hi peoples! I came up with this while I was thinking on how siblings always fight with each other, but I made this WAY funnier. This is the first story where I actually take the characters out of story and do something crazy. And a guest, my friend Avey, will be a judge.  
_

"Hello peoples and welcome to Bri Nara's 'World's stupidest ninja games!'" said the hyper person holding the mic. "I'm your host, Bri."

"And I'm her personal bother person, Avey!" said the girl with frizzy brown hair.

"Now that we have our judges Avey, myself, and Nezumi here. LET THE MADNESS COMMENCE!"

Nine ninja stand in a line, with worried looks on their faces. (Naruto, Shikamaru, Neji, Itachi, Deidara, Zetsu, Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Karin)

"Relax guys, the first game is legal. ULTIMATE KEKKEI GENKAI STARING CONTEST!!!"

"WHAT?!"

Nezumi holds up a sign that says "Super Scary Staring Contest."

"Now, Team Leaf has to send up Neji, Team Akatsuki has to send up Itachi, and Team Hebi has to send up Duck-butt, I mean Sasuke. Now, you three have to star into each others' eye until two people blink. No genjutsu, no looking away, Itachi and Duck-butt, no ninjutsu. Ready? Go!!!"

So the three boys turned on their killer eyes. And stared. And stared. And stared...

"Hey, Bri? Who do you think will win?" Avey asked.

"I'm betting on Itachi."

"But isn't he a bad guy?" (Very stubborn Avatar fan who barely watches Naruto. And is only here because I'm being nice.) "I think Neji will win with his x-ray eyes and stuff."

"Ha!" Karin stood beside them, gripping the frame of her glasses. "You idiots! Of course _Sasuke _will win."

"Then it's a bet; whoever wins gets a plushie of their favorite anime character."

"Oh, it's on now! Go Neji!!!"

Eighty years later...

"Nezumi! It has _not _be eighty years, it's only been an hour! And take that fake beard off!"

"You cannot win... foolish little brother." Itachi poked Sasuke in the forehead.

"Hey! Isn't touching the opponent against the rules?!" Naruto asked.

"I never said that, otherwise this would just be a normal staring contest."

"I know, right? Aren't ninja staring contest supposed to be all awesome and stuff?"

"In that case," Neji said, "I could do this." He spun around. "Rotation!" The Uchihas got knocked over, but didn't blink.

"Isn't _that _against the rules, un?"

"No. I said Sasuke and Itachi couldn't use ninjutsu."

"Well that's mean, un."

"One question," Avey said. "Since when was Bri ever nice?"

"You can use your art if you want."

"Did I ever mention how nice you are, un?"

So then they had to dodge explosive art, for another hour, until Bri got out a balloon.

POP! All three boys blinked.

Then all three started yelling at the same time. "Ha! You blinked! I win! No, I win! Stop copying me!!!"

"O...k... It's a three way tie, which means each team gets a point. So, so long peoples!"

"Hold on! Who gets a plushie?"

"It was a tie. So..."

"I DO!" Nezumi smiled as he hugged his brand new plushie. "I bet it would be a tie!"

Avey's eye twitched as she asked, "Bri... since when does your little made-up person get his own plushie...?"

**XXX**

**_End of the first event._**

**_Now let's hope that I can think of a second. ^^u  
_**


	2. Contest of dresses

"Welcome back to the 'World's stupidest ninja games!'" said the hyper little brown-haired boy.

"Nezumi! _I'm _supposed to say that!"

"Sorry, Bri-san..."

Avey was glaring at the little kid. "I so hate you... I really wanted that Aang plushie..." (Avey, the stubborn Avatar fan who lost the bet with me last event.)

"Ok. I have a new challenge, but I need everyone to get rid of their cameras, cellphones, and anything else that takes pictures. Nezumi, round them up."

"Why?" he asked as he took Sasuke's camera.

"Well, I got the idea for this next event from when I showed Avey a picture of Deidara. She thought Deidara was a girl."

Deidara glared angrily at Avey. "Well, I am so_rry!_ It's not _my _fault a lot of guys on this show looks like girls." Then almost everyone in the room glared at Avey, except Nezumi and Karin.

"Just for that, we're having a cross-dressing contest."

Nezumi holds up a very flowery sign that says "The Perfect Chance To Humiliate Deidara and Neji."

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Bri grabbed Neji and Deidara's ponytails before they could run away.

"Will you two _suck it up_? It's only for a few minutes. Will it help if I force everyone else to cross-dress too?"

"What?!" Everyone started freaking out.

"What kind of ninja are you?! You're all scared of a few dresses! And I took all the cameras! Just do it!"

**...**

"Ok, we got the guys into dresses, and Karin to wear a tux. Let's get this over with. First up is Zetsu."

Zetsu walked out, in a green dress. And Avey fell to the floor.

"My eyes! My eyes! 1!"

"Uh... Sorry Zetsu-san. 2."

"Zetsu," Bri said, "one thing. NEVER WEAR HEELS! 1!"

Then Karin walked out to the stage, in a black tuxedo.

"Oh my gosh! She makes a pretty decent boy. 6."

"Karin-san looks weird. 4."

"Well, look at that, Karin. I was right, you could pull off being a boy. 6."

Naruto walked on, in his Sexy Jutsu form. In a bright orange dress.

"Isn't he cheating, Bri?!" Avey yelled.

"We'll have to cut off some points for that. 7."

"7."

"5 for cheating."

Then Suigetsu walked out, in a purple tank top and light blue mini-skirt.

"Oh god!" Bri ducked her head. "Suigetsu, _why_ did you have to have a mini-skirt?! My respect for you just melted! 8!"

"Oh come on, Bri. He looks good in that color. 9."

"Yeah. 8."

Then Itachi walked out in a black dress with black nails and he had his hair down.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH GOD! HAHA! WHERE'S YOUR DIGNITY?! 10!"

"Itachi-san...?" Nezumi turned pink and fainted. "9..."

"Itachi Uchiha," Bri said. "Be grateful we got rid of the cameras. 7. I'm sorry but you look more emo than usual."

Then someone pushed Shikamaru onto the stage. He was wearing a green kimono with his hair down.

"Heh...ha ha... HAHAHA! Please tell me the security cameras are on! This is priceless! 9!

"Bri! How can you be so mean to your Deerboy?"

"Easy, put him in a dress! HAHAHA!"

"He doesn't really look like a girl. 6."

Nezumi woke up, and turned pink again when he saw Shikamaru. "Huh?! Uh... 6?"

Then Naruto dragged Sasuke on the stage. He was wearing a blue tank top and a white mini-skirt.

"OH SWEET MERCY! MY EYES!!! I'VE BEEN BLINDED!!! GET THE HELL OFF THE STAGE, DUCK-BUTT! Negative 1000!"

"That's just going to mentally scar Bri. 0."

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Sasuke-san looks scary! 0! 0! 0!"

Then Bri grinned. "Now for one of the best. NEJI! NEJI! NEJI!"

Neji walked out on stage, in a white kimono, with his hair down. And a white ribbon tied around his head.

"OMG! Bri, won't your cousin kill you for this? 10."

"Yeah, Suka will kill me. But this is so worth it. 10."

"Neji-san looks too grumpy. 9."

"Now...for...DEIDARA-SEMPAI!!!!!"

Itachi dragged out Deidara. He was in a shiny golden dress, and someone took his thing to tie his hair up.

"Ha! I told you he looks like a girl! 10!"

"The dress really compliments his hair. 10."

"Deidara-danna looks pretty. 10."

"..." Deidara had a look on his face that said _I kill you ALL!!!_

Bri and Avey waved to the invisible camera. "Well, that's it for the cross-dressing contest. See you later-"

"_BRI NARA!!!_"

"What was that?!" Avey asked.

"Suka-san! Run!!!"

Bri ran for her life as an angry girl ran into the story with a chainsaw.

"_HOW DARE YOU PUT NEJI-KUN IN A DRESS!!!_"

"I'm sorry! But it was hilarious! Don't kill me, itoko-sempai!!!"


	3. Antipersonality challenge

"Hi peoples! I thought of a new challenge for the ninja! My friend kind of gave me the idea."

"I did?" Avey asked.

"Not you. Itachi, Shikamaru, and Suigetsu have to come here."

As they did, Shikamaru asked "What is it now, Bri?"

"What is the number one thing people know you for?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Never mind, I'll ask Avey."

"Well, Itachi like, killed everyone and is all emo. Shikamaru is lazy. And... I just know Suigetsu is like this water-dude."

"Exactly. And _what _could we do about that?"

"OH! Anti-personality thingy!"

Nezumi holds up a sign that says "Great or Break Challenge"

"The rules are simple. I'll put each of you in a situation that is against your main personality trait. You have one hour to either find a way to stop it, or play along. Itachi," Bri held up a pair of headphones, "put these on."

When he put the headphones on, he heard a faint melody. "_I love you... You love me... We're a happy family..._"

"Bri-san, hasn't the barney song torture been done already?"

"Yes, but it's the only song I could think off that drives him crazy. Next, Shika." Bri put her fingers to her lips and whistled. Suddenly two figures in green jumpsuits appeared behind her. "You have to do exercise with _them._"

Shikamaru was picked up by the arms and taken away.

"Bri, how can you do that? You know he's lazier than you are. And you can't even last five minutes."

"I know. Suigetsu, seeing that I don't want to electrocute you, you get the million fangirls chasing you. But you can't go near any body of water bigger than a cup, got it?"

"Yeah..."

"YOU CAN LET THE FANGIRLS OUT NOW! Oh, by the way, you can't kill them."

"Darn..." Then he ran.

"I think Itachi will win. I mean, how mentally scarred can you get from Barney?"

"Shikamaru will win."

"You want to make a bet, Bri _Nara_?"

"Yeah, if Itachi wins, you get an Aang plushie. If Shikamaru wins, you have to hang out with my least favorite character from Naruto for three days."

"You mean that immortal guy, with the gray hair, that you keep using as a cuss word?"

"Yup."

"But what if Suigetsu-san wins?" Nezumi asked.

"Then you get cookies."

"Yay!"

**... One hour later...**

"Let's see how Suigetsu is holding up."

They saw the fangirls, cuddling a plastic bag full of water. Nezumi started crying, because this meant no cookies.

"What the _Hidan_ did you do to Sui-kun?!"

"He panicked and melted, then we started _hugging _him."

"Suka? What are you doing here?"

"I'm a Suigetsu fangirl too."

"Oh yeah..."

"WOW. Your cousin is crazier than you are. No offense."

"Shouldn't you be checking if my Itachi-kun is ok?"

"Good point."

So they ran back to Itachi, who was unconscious in a chair. Avey took the headphones off, which was playing the special Bri-made verse of the song. (The verse that is specifically made for Itachi.)

"Who knew that Barney could _do _that?!" Avey said.

"I don't think it was the Barney song, Avey-san." Nezumi picked up a mirror that was next to Itachi's chair. "I think he just did Tsukiyomi on himself to stop the music."

"He did _what_?!"

"He knocked himself out, Avey."

"Oooh. If the bad super villians are like this, I'd _love _to see how your twin died." (Ask me _later._)

"Shika! Oh crap!"

They ran to a hill, where Shikamaru, Guy, and Lee were lying down. A black shadow was stretched out under Guy and Lee, and both of them seemed to be dying to get up.

"Whoa. You managed to pin down the green beasts of the Leaf. Point for the Leaf village."

"What's the prize anyway."

"Oh, you'll see..."

**Current Standings in the contest.**

**Team Leaf- 1 Team Akatsuki- 1 Team Hebi- 0**

Review.

(And sorry if the story is kind of crappy. I just made this from randomness.)


	4. Classic Eating Contest

"Welcome back to the 'world's stupidest ninja games!'" Avey said brightly.

"Now, thanks to Bri-san's friend, gaarafangirl91-"

"Thank you, Fan-chan!" Bri waved to the camera.

"We have a new contest." Nezumi holds up a sign that has Zetsu biting the words "Favorite Food Eating Contest"

Within five minutes, Naruto; Suigetsu; and Zetsu with sitting at a long table. Naruto had ramen in front of him, Suigetsu had ice cream, and Zetsu had a mountain of hot dogs.

"We all know how this works. Eat everything before time runs out. Naruto, Shadow Clones are cheating. Ready? GO!"

Naruto started slurping up the ramen, Suigetsu's almighty spoon started digging up the ice cream, and Zetsu dived into the mountain of hot dogs. Nezumi slowly backed away from Zetsu's section of the table.

"I will win the bet this time!" Avey said. "I bet Zetsu will win! I mean, look at him! That Aang plushie is as good as mine!"

"Which reminds me, how were your three days with Hidan?" Avey's eye twitched. "Fine, I bet Suigetsu will win. And if I win, you have to steal Kakuzu's wallet."

"But Bri-san," Nezumi said. "You know how much Naruto-san loves ramen. If he wins, I get cookies."

"But I also know how much Suigetsu loves ice cream. Trust me, before the five minutes are up, I'll win this bet."

**...Four and a half very messy minutes later...**

Almost the entire table was covered in empty bowls and plates. Each person was almost done with their last dish, until the timer ran out.

"Ok! Let's see how they did!"

Nezumi, Avey, and Bri walked over to Naruto first. He was at the point of passing out in his chair. But there was something wrong...

"Avey-san? What's that?" Nezumi pointed at one of the bowls. There was a single noodle in there.

"It's a noodle, which means Naruto didn't finish."

"WHAT?!" Naruto and Nezumi yelled.

Then Avey and Bri went over to Suigetsu. Every bowl was empty and licked clean.

"Dang, how the heck did he eat all that and _still _be that skinny?"

"Avey, it's simple, SUIGETSU ROCKS!"

Then they went over to Zetsu, it looked like a massacre. They were severed bits of hot dog everwhere, and the giant plate was broken on the floor.

"Holy crap. Zetsu, you didn't just eat, but you _killed _the hotdogs!"

**"Does that mean I win or what?"**

Bri picked up a half-eaten hotdog that was next to the broken plate. "Nope. Avey-"

"I know." She ran off somewhere.

"Well, that's it for now, things are all tied up. Who will win? Who will lose?"

"BRIIIIIIIII!!!!!"

Avey was running with a wallet the size of a car tire. And angry Kakuzu was chasing after her.

"GIVE ME BACK MY WALLET!!!"

"Will Avey be able to live after this chapter? Find out in the next chappie!"

**lol, I'm evil for making Avey do that.**

**Here are the current standings.**

**Leaf- 2 Akatsuki- 2 Hebi- 2**

**Review! And requests for the final challenge!  
**


	5. The final event

"So... Here's the final event of the 'World's Stupidest Ninja Games!'" Avey said happily into the mic.

"Seeing that nobody requested a final event, Bri-san... um... Bri-san?"

A normally hyper person was sitting alone in the emo corner, causing Nezumi to sweatdrop.

"Are you still grumpy, Bri-san?"

Avey noticed Bri in the corner reserved for Sasuke and Itachi. "I knew this would happen! I just _knew _Bri would turn emo on me!"

_POW! _Bri's fist somehow stretched out of the emo corner and smacked Avey. "I'm not going emo, dang it..."

"Hey! No need to be so violent! I already have a broken arm and brain damage thanks to that creepy dude with the heavy wallet!"

"Um... well, in Bri-san's mind it was either American Idol or Mario-Kart-style races. She picked races. SHOW THEM THE CARS, AVEY-SAN!"

Avey pulled off the cloth that was covering the cars. One was a blinding bright red, one was a jade green, and the last one was a Suigetsu's-eye-color purple. Each one had a turbo speed button, four seats, and king-sized cup holders. Naruto started drooling, Itachi had an almost invisible sparkle in his eyes.

Bri got out of the emo corner and grinned. "Ok, we're doing this a little bit like the old Mario-Kart games. Each team gets a car; one person drives while another person attack. You're not allowed to leave your car without someone in it. Other than that, _there are no rules!_"

There was a menacing grin coming from at least one person in each team. _There are no rules! _

"Get in your vehicles!"

There was a mad scramble in each car, and there was a lot of fighting over who would get the wheel. Naruto was trying to strangle Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru! Let me drive!"

Shikamaru managed to keep Naruto away from the wheel. "Naruto, you have to defend the car. My Shadow Possession won't work in this race."

"But why do _you_ get to drive?!"

Shikamaru held up his wallet. "Because _I_ have a license."

Naruto stomped over to the back seat. (Genin don't get a license. XD)

So it ended up being Shikamaru, Zetsu, and Suigetsu (He threatened to bite anyone who objects. -.-") driving. Nezumi walked onto the road with one of those Olympic starting guns.

"Racers!" Nezumi's small voice said. "Ready?!" Suigetsu and Zetsu grinned. "Set?!" All the drivers had a foot next to the gas pedal. "GO!!!" BANG!

Nezumi jumped out of the way as the racers sped off at 100 miles per hour. He grinned as he asked "We're still doing the super-bet, right?"

"Duh, Mousy-kun!" Bri put on some goggles and racing gloves. "If Sasuke loses, I win Avatar's copyrights!"

"What?! We never agreed to that!!!"

"Oh yes we did! Prepare to see your precious Aang in a dress, Avey!"

"No! If Naruto loses, you have to give me the Aang plushie, _and_ kiss Hidan!" (She doesn't really know who Hidan is, she just knows that I hate him)

"_WHAT THE HIDAN DID YOU JUST SAY?!_"

"You'll have to kiss _Hidan_, on the _lips_, and _not _smack him five seconds later!"

"Oh heck no!"

"Bri-san! Bri-san! If none of the cars touch the finish line, then I get my own fanfic!"

"SHUT UP, NEZUMI!" Bri and Avey yelled as they got into their go-karts.

"GO!"

**...**

**"The car is going too slow!"**

"Zetsu, you shouldn't blame the car, un."

**"But you can't blame me for why it's going too slow!!!"**

"Wait, I have an idea, un!"

Deidara grabbed a wad of clay and stuffed it in a pipe in the back of the car. He sat back next to Itachi with a devious smile.

"You better start appreciating my art, un." He made a handsign. "Because art..."

Naruto's mouth dropped opened as the Akatsuki car flew by him in a streak of red.

"IS AN EXPLOSION!!!"

Naruto started panicking. "Shikamaru! What just happened?!"

"They used the force of the explosion to get ahead of us," Neji explained.

"Well, do something!"

"Naruto," Shikamaru said, "use Rasengan on the ground behind us."

"You got it!" A ball of chakra was in his hand. "Rasengan!"

Naruto's team sped of past Sasuke's team. Karin then got very mad.

"DRIVE FASTER, IDIOT!"

Sasuke went to the back of the car, and did fireball jutsu a million times.

"Great idea, Sasuke-kun!"

Akatsuki was in the lead, by a mile. The race was going to be theirs, until Zetsu saw a stand that said "Edible people 25 cents." Then he stopped the car and ran out.

"ZETSU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

The was a small person wearing a fake mustache. "What can I get you, sir?"

Zetsu smacked a quarter onto the stand. "Get me the best thing you've got."

The stand-person held up a girl with four sand-colored pigtails. "This one is free."

"Then can you get me a strawberry?"

"Sure." The stand-person held up a strawberry.

**"Not _that _kind!"**

"Oh." They held up a certain orange-haired person from Bleach. (Ichigo means strawberry. XP)

"Thanks." Then Zetsu ran off to some random place to eat.

Itachi and Deidara were still in the car. "Should I drive?" Itachi asked.

"Sure, why not, un?"

Then the racers were neck and neck, until the Akatsuki car had a few technical difficulty.

"Deidara! What happened?!"

"The bomb got stuck and it's gonna blow, un! And the blast is enough to take everyone out, un!"

"Why did you have to try the C2 clay?!"

And then the bomb went off, and everyone zoomed forward. (Insert matrix slow motion) And all the cars flew over the finish line, at the same time.

Bri and Avey had their mouths wide opened and said dully, "It's a tie."

"WHAT?!"

"The world's stupidest ninja games ended in a _tie_."

Almost everyone was disappointed, except for a certain light brown-haired genin.

"What are you smiling about, Nezumi?"

"None of the cars touched the finish line. And the finish line's ribbon is still in one piece." Nezumi's smile grew.

Bri's eyes widened as she remembered the bet. "Oh _heck _no!" Then she ran away.

"But Bri-san! You lost the bet!" Nezumi started chasing after her.

Avey sweatdropped. "Oh well. At least Bri has more work to do."

**No. -__-"**

**Nezumi: You have to. ^^**

**Fine. I'll write your stupid fanfic.**

**Nezumi: Yay! =3**

**Review.  
**


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